Many of you know I teach college. This quarter I have about 80 students in 3 different speech classes. 2 of the classes are full of students studying game design- all boys, except 1 and me of course. I love these two classes. Most of the kids are sharp, creative, funny and utterly, utterly bizarre - that is most of them live in the world of games and some of them have a hard time switching between actual reality and the virtual world. Their examples and analogies contain - ninjas, morphed warriors, killer aliens etc, etc and their aim is to show me all the cool stuff they play. In this one game - Bioshock (I think) you can load hornets eggs into your veins and after they hatch release them on your opponent! CRAAAAZY!
Anyway, I wanted to write about some of the speeches I get to hear - they range from the hilarious to mind-numbing to stupid and strange. Here is a list...
The "What the Heck Am I a Teacher For" or "You are an Idiot" Speech
Total time: 20 secs
Student was supposed to give a speech demonstrating how to do something (4-6mins)
"I have been a failure all my life. I got a 1.9 GPA [a very bad grade] in high school. And here is my outline for the speech today [student holds up a blank sheet of paper]. So if you don't want to be a failure like me, do your work."
The Cool Speech
The student demonstrated how to make chainmail. Yup, the kind they used in medieval times during battle. He used thick wire to make the little circlets and then weaved them together. It was really cool; reminded me of the 2 guys who made all the chainmail shirts in the Lord of the Rings and lost their fingerprints by the end. Last year the student sold a chainmail shirt for $300 at the Renaissance Festival!
The "How to Get free Pizza" Speech
So apparently the key is to order online and give really obscure directions like, "Don't cut my pizza" or "Put the pepperoni under the sauce." Then you go and pick up the pizza and complain if the instructions were not followed. Chances are you will get either free or deeply discounted pizza. Mmmmm...satisfaction. Downside: If bizarro instructions were followed, you will have to pay. P.S. (says the student) Spread your scheme evenly to many pizza joints. Chances are if you do it at the same place, they'll catch on. (Really??)
1 comment:
I wish you could video your classes. They sound like very interesting students.
Love checking in here.
I love both, Jonas and your thoughts.
And I must see Bombay Dreams, can you get that here at any movie rental?
Love to you two!
Nan
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